Emotional Triggers?

I've always maintained that I don't have a lot of emotional triggers to eat. Boredom was really my only excuse - oh and the wicked PMS! But lately, I've noticed times where I used to eat out of anger, sadness and lethargy are being replaced by a desire to be active. I've been eating crazily the last 2 weeks (spurned by Easter, and extended by PMS) but there's been no emotional attachment to it. Purely choice and lack of control. But the way it made me feel allowed me to STOP! and choose an activity yesterday (going to the gym) to make me feel better, instead of using my emotionally blackmailing tool of rationalization. "Well, since I ate like a pig and feel gross, I might as well have this chocolate now while I'm at it" is really translating into: "I'm not worth the effort to pull myself out of this rut. Keep eating, since it's anesthetizing your feelings of self-revile."

Wow. Who wants to feel like THAT? I certainly don't, but it's not that easy to snap out of I see. So a little more reprogramming is necessary to keep me on the right path. But a big HOORAY for a little enlightenment!

My story continues

So fast forward 15 months. I have lost 91 pounds, and have kept it off since reaching my 88 pound goal in November. I achieved lifetime membership, and have unwravelled a whole new world of challenges... maintenance.

I understood losing. Sacrifice and extra exercise, constant moderation and monitoring. Maintenance (even with all the warnings) seemed like a destination. Ease up on some of the vigilance... splurge on the odd thing here and there. The trouble with that is, it opens up tiny little wholes for my bad habits to creep in. So I am working on losing another 9 pounds, taking my sweet arse time with it, and trying to tone up some excess skin along the way. It's slow going. I've been playing with the same 5-6 pounds since Christmas, but I am committed to reaching 149.9 by September. That's less than 1.5 pounds a month. If it doesn't pick up soon, I may just go back to weight loss mode to get there. But I'll play it by ear for now.

When I look back at what I've lost over the last 14 months, it's actually much more about what I've gained:
* A lot more self confidence (must keep that in check now, some days!!!)
* Energy. I have much more to spare. I just can't sit in front of the TV like I used to!
* Better eating habits. In general!
* Smaller portion sizes (AKA reasonable portions!)
* The love of clean eating. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm working on it!
* A much better legacy to leave for my daughter.... there will be many posts on the struggles I face with this.

Ok, time for bed. I am struggling with getting enough sleep lately, so I'd best start the night time routine a little earlier from now on.