Monday, February 25, 2013

Getting back up, and trying to dust off

I pride myself on NOT getting knocked down.  You push, I push back.  Life lays down bumps, I speed up and drive right over them.  In the rare moments I find myself flat on my butt, I don't stay down for long.  Something's collapsed within my coping mechanism...

It started last September, when my daughter - only 14 - was diagnosed with Celiac's.  During this appointment, we also found out her sugars were a little high.  Fast forward to the end of December, and we are now a family with a Type 1 Diabetic.  This is something I never expected, dreamt of or even fathomed.  My little girl has to test 5 -10 times per day, and inject insulin into her tummy 4-6 times each day.  Our lives have been thrown upside down.  Even today, 7 weeks later, not 5 minutes goes by without thinking about diabetes.  Everything affects it, and in a teenager's world... well let's just say there's a million more reasons why the sugars can be all over the place!

Everyone says it takes a full year, or more, to fully accept.  I can wait... but I need to feel GOOD again, way sooner than that.  I've gained weight, I've been too emotional, I've been a handful.  I need to re-centre, and re-focus.  Today is the start of a new way of coping.  I'm not pushing back - I'm leaning into it.  I'm not speeding through bumps, I'm slowing down and either going gently or finding a new road.  Today, I start to grow forward.

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