Woops!

Last week was crazy busy and super fun! Clinic, Dane Cook, and New Moon TWICE! What a week. I sure can't maintain that schedule at all. But, in the end.... I am down. I weigh twice a week (once for myself, and once with my little group) and I am having different numbers for both- but both are down. The little group we have is a little off, because I didn't weigh the first week I got back at it hard. I will update that result tomorrow - and it will be lower.

But for myself, I have lost 9 pounds in 4 weeks! I only have another .6 to go to reach my first goal of 5% lost, and 6 pounds to reach 15 lost by Christmas. Of course, it won't be easy - we are full bore into Christmas season - starting with the Riders in the Grey Cup next Sunday. I have plans to take it very easy.... and hosting something will help!!!

But I can do it - and feeling so good right now will be all the motivation I need!

Thanks for reading.

J

What a week.

I am glad it's over, and I'm so glad everyone survived it. (It was closer for some than it was for others...) I over did it on pizza tonight, but still have a few weekly allowance points. Need some exercise - hoping to get enough energy tonight to do something. Unfortunately, I am exhausted and can barely muster the will to stay awake long enough to wait for Emma to be done swimming so I can pick her up....

Maybe a little nap before a cold walk wouldn't hurt???? Either way, I am signing out for the night, and for the week. Here's to a MUCH better next week....

Ugh. Stupid Brain - Head Hunger Pangs

Rough night tonight. To have a preteen daughter that is

1. Just like me
2. Going to change the world someday
3. Has a temper
4. Knows which buttons to push
5. Just like me

Is a challenge, to say the least. Tonight was tough - and I am sad and regretful for the argument. I hate regret - I try to avoid it at all costs. Reading about a young girl who is suspected to have died with the flu recently makes my sadness even greater. And she's not here for me to reach out and wake up to kiss and hug and apologize and remind her of how precious life is. Result: Mind is going crazy.

I have been in and out of the kitchen all night. I want sweet and salty. Or a big piece of peanut butter toast. I have settled for 1 point worth of crunchy fibre cereal. Good choice, but not cutting it. So, I've been trying to convince myself to go to bed, but losing that battle. Finding every reason to keep going into the kitchen, and continually getting frustrated with the knowledge that my stomach IS NOT hungry. So, as I hit POST, I am absolutely going to bed. End the misery that has been this day, and look forward to seeing Emma tomorrow and starting over again, thankful that I have another day to do that.

Hug your babies tonight. And be good to yourself!

J

Yay!!!

Great start to the "comeback"! Down 5.2 pounds! I am already feeling so much closer to being back in control. I earned 21 activity points, which I hope to bump up to 24 this week!

Being back at school full steam will make it a little more difficult to stay on track, but I am really excited for the challenge. My mantra for the next two difficult months (parties, Christmas and many trips to the theatre for New Moon!) will be "NOTHING tastes as good as how fabulous I will feel when I get back into my size 8 jeans!!!!" I think I'm going to make sure I post this mantra in several places.

Here's to a great couple of very busy days! (And still working on the night eating....)

Thanks for all the terrific support you've been giving.... it's been a wonderful blessing!

J

Managing it all!

I would love to know what genetic dysfunction causes women to push themselves to the edge of sanity on a regular basis! The need to be super mom, participating in their children's activities (baking the best peanut-free, egg-free, gluten-free treats they can bake, making the scariest halloween costume or prettiest angel costume they can find, attending every little activity at the school). The need to be super employee (staying late, working through valuable coffee breaks, working when we're sick, working on our days off). The need to be super spouse (or other....)

It's not possible. We all know it's not possible - but that rarely stops us from trying!

I have had to stop. I used to be accessible to Emma at all times - the joys of a home based business. But going back to school meant misssing 99% of her activities. The guilt has been tough to negotiate, but I have had to accept it. I make up for it regularly by ensuring our time together is spent "together" - not her watching TV and me on the computer.

I have had to realize that being a single mom, by definition, means that there is no way I can try to keep up a 95% at school. The extra time spent trying to achieve that (instead of a respectable 85%) would be better invested in extra practice, practicum or outreaches at school. Or, reinvested into Emma.

What I HAVE to put my time into is my health (ensuring I'm eating to lose and exercising regularly) and my daughter. As best as I can on both those things! This sometimes means I have to slack on other things, and that's OK! I can't paint at the school today. I won't likely be scrubbing the kitchen floors, or preparing anything difficult for the dinner I'm attending tonight. Shortcuts and easy way outs are totally OK sometimes - to ensure the important things are taken care of...

I have had to accept that the house won't be 100% all the time. The yard work and renos on the house have taken months instead of a couple of weekends. And that's ok. It's all ok. Ok is the new "perfect" in my house! When I have the time, energy and desire to outdo myself, I will. I mean, everyone likes to feel good about the stuff they do. But right now, I have to go do an OK job of winterizing the yard. Oh, after I get my walk in, that is....

So far, so good!

I have had a really great start this week. I am on track, have gotten a hold of the chocolate addict in me and shaken her stupid! With all the hype about the piggy flu, I have decided that healthy diets all around are in order. So, I signed back up for Weight Watchers online, and will be using the tools that helped me lose in the first place! Go with what works, right?

No more grumbling about "oh poor me, I can't have this without gaining weight!" It could be worse. I could be one of the many members in my family who can't eat ANYTHING with seeds in it without serious illness. That would suck! Or the unfortunate people who have to live with chronic disease, or other life altering illnesses.... Nope. Not being able to eat fatty unhealthy foods without gaining weight is my heart's way of saying... "HEY DUMMY! This stuff isn't good for you!!!!!"

I have a goal for Christmas, and I WILL make it!

And by the way, I made it through my first set of quarterly exams. I'll let you know the results once I get 'em!

J

Ok.... back to it.

So much changed since the last time I posted 9 months ago! I am in school full time, studying Massage Therapy. I love it, but it's one heck of an intensive course. It's a whole new set of challenges, not the least of which is managing a healthy diet.

Here it is in black and white - I have gained 20 pounds. 24 if you count my lowest weight. I am getting scared. And I've used excuses for the last 6 months. Here they are:

Summer = beer. I had lots of booze. Way too much, really.
Eating out. Following someone else's routine caused a lot of damage.
Hormones. Mine were completely thrown off balance my a device intended to control my cycle.
New schedule - no time to work out, rushed eating.

Ok. It's out there. Now what? I am struggling to stay away from the chocolate left from Halloween. Starting today - NO MORE. I can't handle it. It has to be a NO NO food.

Taking the time when I can to exercise is critical. I need to get 3 hours of exercise a week - no matter what. I can do that. Here are my other goals:

75% clean diet - managing 26 points a day.
Lose 15 pounds by Christmas
Enjoy my life again! Including school - which is amazing.
Reduce packaged snacks - get my 5-10 fruits & veggies in a day.
Get Emma more active - using our new puppy as incentive!
Blog twice a week at least.

Here's to another new start with a guaranteed positive finish! Thanks for reading.

J