Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year, New Decade... What's Next?

This has the potential to be one of those rambling posts... the kind that lacks focus and purpose. But even those posts have endings. Finality. Results. Sometimes, though hard to read, those posts make the most impact on me. That sort of sums up 2009 for me! Not a lot of focus, probably a lot of rambling, but still.... here I am facing the finality of the year. It's been an exciting one, full of ups and downs, and highly impactful.

Some of my lowlights included:
  • Emma's battle with Swine Flu
  • Nathan's accident
  • Gaining 20+ pounds
  • Emma's ever changing hormonal shifts
  • The end of my first post-break up relationship
Fortunately, the highlights SUPER outweigh...
  • Finishing the vast majority of my house renos, including - windows & doors, deck, and getting the insulation up
  • Vegas
  • Emma's significant improvement of grades
  • Getting over the hurt of the divorce
  • A lot of great times with Darla and the girls
  • BC trip
  • Starting school
  • A super fun summer
  • A fun, though short, relationship
  • Green Day
  • So many fun family times
I grew a lot this year. I always laughed when I heard 40 something women say how happy they were at that age. I get it now. To be comfortable in your own skin. To embrace change and growth. To love fully and without expectation for change. I am actually going to love 40. But, I can wait for it! I look at the possibilities of the next year, the next decade.... 10 years ago, Emma was 1. My biggest worries were managing which minimum wage job I would take, Emma's various health concerns (and they were many!) and getting over a broken relationship (ha, there's irony there). I was living in a cute little house, with my sister. So many fabulous memories there. In 10 years, Emma should be in school, or working. But surely, God willing, living a full and exciting life as an adult. At 21, her life laid out in front of her. I can't imagine it, but I can see my daughter taking life by the reigns and living it to her fullest.

I will be contemplating 50, not 40. My parents, again God willing, will be in their 60s, hopefully enjoying all the fullness of a healthy retirement. And I hope that we will all be continuing our human experiment.... growing and learning.

My friends. Enjoy the life you have. Grow in the experiences and opportunities you are given. Be the light and love in the lives of others. And most of all, be open. Open to everything that is laid out before you. Be 21, only with the wisdom and experience of whatever age you really are. God Bless and all the health, love and happiness you are open to in 2010.

J

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